Rules?

While talking on the phone last night, my friend and I got on the topic of rules; the kind that exist in dating. Actually, I had 2 conversations about that last night but I digress. We talked about the ones mostly that women, at least in theory, think they should abide by such as :

1. Not accepting a date for the weekend after Wednesday.
2. No calling men except to return a call.
3. No sex on a first (or 2nd or 3rd) date.
4. Let the man pay for everything.
5. Don't date anyone at work.

Well, at this point we've both broken pretty much all of the aforementioned rules, but we're having fun so I say throw out the rule book! Of course, that always gets me into trouble but playing all of those games is exhausting and I'd rather be tired out from other activities.

In any event, it was a funny coincidence that I received a "rules from men" email this morning. It reads as follows (note that they are all labeled #1 on purpose, though why I hve no idea):

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

So, for you male readers out there, any truth to these man rules? Ladies, ever followed the rules to see if they work? Chime in, people. Let me know what you're thinking.